I haven’t written anything lately. I mean like really written. My deep soul searching kind of writing.
You want to know why?
Well, I don’t know.
Here’s the thing. A couple weeks ago God told me something. Very clear.
I know there are many people out there wishing that God would tell them something so obvious. So clear. And in other situations I have too.
And I have put his wishes to the side.
Sigh..
My best friend passed away over a year ago now and he has come to see me in my dreams 3 times. All three were pretty powerful. All three were in the last 6 months.
Just this last time I was begging, praying to God to help me be a better mother. Give me rest and patience and mostly keep my joy constant in being a mother and wife.
Jonathan appeared in my dream and told me a few things. VErY CLEAR. He sent me a text message can’t get any clearer than reading the actual words!
I woke up saying ok God if that’s the case can you give me just one more obvious sign?!
HE DID. ( DARN I SAID!)
I got a book in the mail totally unexpected from my mom and in it she told me to WRITE.
Ok God. Thank you. That WAS OBVIOUS. His sense of humor gets me everytime.
So I tried to strike up a deal with him.
“I’ll try to go to the Y every day and write. How’s that?”! I said.
So Monday I went to the Y and I wrote. It was amazing. A story came out and it moved me. Hoping it will move others.
Alright I thought. I can listen. I can do this.
Tuesday came. Tuesday went.
Wednesday came. I wrote.
“Alright God I will go every other day and write. Every day that was too high of a goal. What was I thinking.”
I wrote Wed. but it wasn’t as profound and it was mostly me asking God what am I supposed to write.
One week later. I haven’t written anything else. Good reasons I thought. Now I admit they are just excuses- the tablet is dead, the kids are sick, I am tired. etc. etc. etc.
Silly. Fooling my own thoughts.
I was demanding. I was pouting. I was using a manipulative prayer and wanting an instant solution.
Have you been there?
Has God told you something and you tell him “I hear ya”. And then walk away.
There have been many things in my life when I listened to God and the outcome has been mind blowing. Left me smiling for days in awe of how much he loves me.
And now I am here wondering why my spirit is down. And I know. I am taking my own path and not that of the Lord’s. He has called me to do something. And I am walking away scared.
So what do we do?
We seek , we listen, we pray, and we obey.
I am laughing right now because here I am trying to train my children and teach them to obey. And I am still being disobedient.
We need to ask for courage. At least for me. I need the courage to write this story that God wants me to write.
And when we are doing something for God. The enemy is all over it trying to not let it happen.
“The spirit teaches me to yield my will entirely to the will of the Father. He opens my ear to wait in great gentleness and teachableness of soul for what the Father has day by day to speak and to teach. He discovers to me how union with God’s will is union with God himself; how entire surrender to God’s will is the Father’s claim, the Son’s example, and the true blessedness of the soul.”- Andrew Murray
Today let’s give up control. Let’s follow God’s path for us and let’s do it with courage!
I can’t wait to share with you what happens when I truly listen and obey!
Sis!!!! I know this very feeling!!! God has been telling me for years upon years to start my blog to write a book but I just haven’t felt passionate about it at ALL, but once I realized after years (smh) it is NOTHING less of the enemy trying to hinder me so I got fed up and took action!!! I’m busy now!!
Tia! That is it. Even to do a post on here after I will have the enemy attacking me putting all the doubts and fears into what I just posted. It is so important to recognize the holy spirit and the enemy! I am so excited to hear you are writing! Can’t wait to see where God leads you with it!
“The enemy is all over it trying to not let it happen.” –yuppers! So true! Awesome post! I fall into the “manipulative prayer” trap too. Thanks for a great reminder. Excited to see what happens next! Blessings from “Espressos of Faith”!
Thanks Bonnie! I’m excited and nervous!
i am much better at making promises than keeping them. Try and focus on the days you have written rather than the days you haven’t, you are doing better than you were before! Also remember it only takes 30 days to build a habit.
Blessings, I enjoyed reading this
Thanks Ally!
Have patience Tasia. You are a gifted writer….but you also have a lot on your plate in this busy season of child-rearig. I am not saying you can’t do both or you shouldn’t do both….it is just going to take a while longer to get anywhere! I had it prophesied over me that I would be a writer and speaker when I was 19. I only JUST STARTED writing 6 months ago and I am 32. God isn’t trapped in time and space like we are…..if He is telling you to write….do it….but don’t be concerned about how quickly you do it. Blessings girl….Love you!
Thanks Sarah! That is exactly it! I was thinking that I needed to do it right away and demanding that! But that’s not the key!